Abba

Our church had Vacation Bible School this week, and although little man wasn't old enough for a class, I took him along with me.  He loves going in church to watch the band play, so it was a special treat for him.  I was really struck by how he absorbed what was going on and had such a desire to jump in and imitate what he was seeing.  Every time he heard "raise your hand if..." his hands immediately went up in the air.  And the theme song for the week was "Thrive" by Casting Crowns:  Joy Unspeakable, Faith Unsinkable, Love Unstoppable, Anything is Possible!  I got really tickled at his version "Anything is soccer ball."  He even learned one of the simple memory verses.   I'm not saying this to brag on my child, because I realize he is not a child prodigy (although the grandparents would disagree); or to brag on myself, because I am definitely not a super-mommy.  I say this because I see a typical two-year-old who is soaking up his environment and mimicking what he sees. I know these sweet moments don't hold understanding, but I do pray that these habits will lead to understanding and an authentic relationship with God.

Watching him this week has really reiterated how God paints a perfect picture of his love for us through our children.  I tread carefully over these next words as I remember the pain in my heart every time someone uttered the words "you will understand when you have children."  Suddenly I felt reduced to less of a person because I didn't have the one thing I wanted more than anything.  So it's with compassion in my heart that I say that since becoming a parent I see my relationship with God in a new light.  I would like to share a few illustrations of that relationship that I've noticed lately.

My child, to put it mildly, is a momma's boy.  In spite of efforts to push him toward independence, he likes to have me around.  And in this big scary world, I am the one who brings him comfort.  When he doesn't have the words to express what burdens him, he runs to me, arms outstretched and tears streaming, and there the world becomes a little less scary.  As a parent it's frustrating to not know how to fix things, but I find so much joy in the fact that I can bring comfort to him.   Romans 8:15 tell us that we cry "Abba, Father."  According my research and what I've been taught, this is similar to the English word "Daddy."  With that cry we become like children crying out to our heavenly Daddy to hold us.  We may have more worldly knowledge, but aren't we all just lost children trying to navigate a big, scary world?  Just as our little ones find comfort in us, the Bible tells us we can run to God to be held, to make the world less scary, to find rest.  And in the same way God finds pleasure in holding us.  Matthew 11:28  says Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

In thinking about this topic another phrase that popped into my head was "separation anxiety."  That's something we have gotten to know all too well.  Thankfully this has improved somewhat for us, but for a while it was extremely trying.  I can't understand what this all about for a child, but I imagine it's very intimidating to be in an unfamiliar setting without the one who brings you stability and comfort.  Doesn't that sum up our struggles as Christians perfectly?  Simply put, when we are separated from God, we have anxiety. The only difference here, is the ball is in our court.  God IS with us everywhere we go, we just have to acknowledge him, invite him in.....make the connection.  This phrase now has new meaning to me.  When I feel overwhelmed I can ask myself if I'm having separation anxiety from my Father.

This summer I've been teaching a class at the dude's pre-school.  He's right across the hall and gets to see me a lot.  Poor thing stands at the door and makes eyes at me sometimes.  But sometimes it is so frustrating to him that I'm so close but so far away.  Today he was very upset and I was so tempted to go get him and bring him into my room.  My flesh wanted to hold him and give him all the comfort he desired.  But I knew that's not what he needed.  I knew he had to learn to depend on his teacher and follow the rules and not receive special treatment as a teacher's kid.  I had to step back and listen to his cries.  Maybe this is the most revealing thing about God's parent-child relationship with us.  Sometimes we know God's there but we just don't feel like we can get to Him, like He's just barely out of reach.  Sometimes we feel like we are sinking.  But God is there.  He hears our cries, and I know they break His heart.  And just as we know what's best for our children in ways they don't understand, God knows what's best for us.  We don't understand it, but we can find comfort in remembering that He is so much smarter than we are, and one day we will understand.  1 Corinithians 13:12 tells us Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And probably the biggest, most profound picture God paints for us through parenthood is the truth that my child can never, ever, no way, no how, do anything that will stop my love for him.  He frustrates me, keeps me up at night, has fits in public that make me want to crawl under a rock, disappoints me,  and I'm sure these things will only grow in intensity.  But I cannot imagine him ever doing anything to keep me from loving Him.  The joy he brings just by being mine far outweighs all his transgressions against me.  And that's God's ultimate message for us.  WE ARE HIS.  No matter what we do to stray from Him, he will always love us.  
Romans 8: 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If you are parent, I hope you are aware of God's presence as you deal with your kids.  I pray that through your trials and errors, you will be made ever more aware of God's love for you.  And if you aren't a parent yet, don't be disheartened.  God's ways are so much bigger than our ways, and He will bring you understanding that is perfectly fit for you.  You are no less of a person, and more importantly---no less loved---if you do not have children.