Pretty

I had some free time today to get out and about, so with vacation approaching in a few weeks I thought I would go take a look at (gulp).....swimsuits.  Since I'm on day 12 or so of a new diet, this wasn't something I was excited about, but I figured they would be completely picked over by the time I really needed one.  I had the dude with me as I looked through all the fullest-coverage pieces I could find.  In true form, he enjoyed pulling things off hangers and touching every garmet he could get his hands on while I shopped.  I pulled a couple things and drug us, buggy and all, into the dressing room.  I put on the size-too-small bottoms (ambitious thinking) and then the top...and as I stood in front of the mirror picking out which rolls were the most obvious, my two year old stopped me in my tracks.  "Dat pretty, mommy.  Mommy pretty."  Heart.  Melted.  And you know what I did?  I bought that swimsuit, rolls and all, because the person that matters most to me thought it was pretty.  Maybe it will be look better in a few weeks, or maybe it will end up returned to the store, but that's really beside the point.

Point number 1....Kids aren't born seeing fat.  They aren't born seeing ugly.  You know who they learn it from?  First they learn it from us.  They see us getting on the scale every day.   They hear us giving ourselves grief.  I shamefully admit that I can't count the times little man has watched me step off the scale and said "My turn" and climbed on right after me.  I know there are probably a thousand other bloggers making the same point, and maybe I'm making the same one over and over.  But maybe that's because we need to hear it over and over.  I struggle to make myself believe it even as I type it.   Are we teaching our kids to be healthy or are we teaching them to hate themselves?

Point number 2...What is more important than how our kids see us?  Should I be more concerned about how many dimples are showing (and I don't mean on my face), or about how much fun I'm having with my child in the water?

Last week I did a Father's day activity with some preschoolers...the kind where they have sentences to complete about their dads.  Most of them were the same..."My dad is good at working, My dad likes to mow the grass, etc."  But the one I loved the most said things like "My dad likes to fight.  My dad is good at handstands.  He is not good at backflips."  I was telling my husband about this and he said, "You know, that's the kind of dad I want to be.  I don't want my kids to think all I do is work."   So simple, yet so powerful.

I understand that most of us don't have any choice but to work, and we don't have as much time as we'd like with our kids.  But I think quality wins over quantity.  Let's make the time we have count.  Let's be moms that don't just stay fully clothed and stick our feet in the water, let's jump in and play!  Let's be dads that do backflips and handstands in spite of exhaustion from a long day's work.  That five, or ten, or thirty minutes is what makes our kids think we're pretty.